Primary Headteacher Cordelia Cooper shares how she was supported during her pregnancy, and return to work as a single parent, and how the skills acquired through headship and motherhood help her in both roles.

I still remember the day, time, moment when I shared with my Deputy Head the scan showing the baby boy I was expecting, due to be born just a few months later.

This was through happy tears, but also through the tears of having shared, in the same moment, the challenging period I had just experienced following the unexpected breakdown of my long term relationship with the father of my child.

It was a tale of two halves, and the support I have received from the senior leaders in my school and my wider Federation during this time has been quite simply, exceptional.

So what’s it like bringing up a child as a working mother and Headteacher on my own?  How do I do it? Well, truthfully – I know no different, do I?

At times, of course I think to myself “Would it be nice to have someone to share the load with?” But if I’m honest, only really when it gets really tough: those days when a deadline has evaded me because of a safeguarding issue, or when all I really want to do is put on my comfies, have a glass of wine and chill out in front of the telly.

But then, I drive home, leave it all behind and long to see the chubby, cheeky smile of my little man as I rush – always rushing! – to pick him from nursery by the 6pm cut-off time!  And at every pick-up, I’m so grateful for the superb South London Montessori nursery team, an exceptional group of people, who care for, and love my baby in the most magical way ever.

Being a working Mum, solo or otherwise, really does ground you and put things into perspective.  As a Headteacher, I no longer come home and, without evening thinking, open the laptop and tip, tap away, often (I realise now, in hindsight) just doing it almost out of habit. I have become much more productive and efficient with my time.  Of course, there are times when I have to work after hours, but I am much more focussed, asking myself what exactly I have to do, and whether a task is really needed.

 When I became a headteacher, I learnt just how much of the role meant being a listening ear and counsel.  In my office, I have a constant stash of tissues (boxes, packets, “go on take a pack with you!”) and wet wipes!  And now, having nurtured and created a supportive school community, I’m the one reaping the benefits of that culture many times over. 

Of course, sometimes it is hard.  But often, it is an automatic response to put on the mask of “being the Head”, because this is what the role has often required of me.  But I have had my core team around me checking in: my Deputy Head, who has been nothing short of the epitome of compassionate, kind and caring.  And my Executive Headteacher, in those early days of shock separation when I was travelling over an hour each way on London public transport, insisted that I take a day each week to work from home. 

I still remember a time when my house sale fell through, unexpectedly – I was close to 35 weeks pregnant; it was hot (I mean hot!) and I was due in assembly in approximately three minutes to introduce the children to their new teachers.  I shared the news with my Deputy Head, ate a satsuma and marched on in there.

In many ways, the frantic and never ending challenges of headship equip you well for being able to bounce back from all manner of adversity and challenge, and as I read online somewhere (probably at 2am) – if you can handle a crying baby in the middle of the night, then you can probably handle most things that school life will throw at you!